Episode 39: What To Do If You’re a People-Pleaser

I’m gonna bet that if you’re anything like me, you’ve likely had a people-pleasing phase of your life…or are still in it…or recovering from it.

I call myself a recovering people-pleaser because…from time to time, I absolutely fall victim to making sure everyone around me is happy and thriving, despite my own well-being. 

Have you ever felt this way?

When I find that my energy is drained and positivity is waning, that’s my signal to step up and reset those boundaries.

Self awareness is key, right? 

“Self-awareness is probably the most important thing towards being a champion.” – Billie Jean King

If you’re an INFLUENCER (i) or STEADY-RELATOR (S) type of communicator (or you have colleagues on your team who are these types) on the DiSC profile, you likely can fall into the people-pleasing arena from time to time.

The INFLUENCER type is people-focused, extrovert, energetic and positive communicator. The STEADY-RELATOR type is people-focused, introvert, calm, collaborative, peaceful communicator.

Both of these types are people-focused and want everyone on the team to be happy, having a good time and working well together…and sometimes can do this to the detriment of themselves, especially if they’re working with different  types.

Be aware of the more dominant, task-focused and non-emotional types in the room…because these types can either take over or tune out of the conversation in a New York minute.

So, what do you do if this happens to you?

If you’re communicating with the DOMINANT (extrovert, task-focused, results oriented, demanding) or CONSCIENTIOUS (introvert, task-focused, analytical, non-emotion) types, you’ll want to dial up competence with these types in your non-verbal communication.

Be assertive with your physical presence. Sit up straight, shoulders back and face or front the person (don’t face away from them). Use a louder tone of voice. Use words, such as: brainstorm, effective, expert in your written or verbal communication.

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If you are looking to learn more about the DiSC assessment, how to communicate with others or to best understand your communication style, check out www.heatherlisle.com for more information.