When’s The Last Time You Looked At Yourself In The Mirror?

I’m gonna bet the last time you looked at yourself in front of the mirror was likely this morning getting ready for your day. When I look in the mirror, I find the wrinkle that may need some concealer…or a random chin hair. I find all the things about my physical appearance I need to change so when I walk out the door, I feel like I’ve done everything I can to look my best.

According to the British news journal, The Sun, women in the United States spend 6.2 hours a week and men spend 4.3 hours a week in front of a mirror. Isn’t it interesting that we spend so much time in front of the mirror applying makeup or doing our hair…but, I’m gonna bet we don’t spend 10% of that time evaluating ourselves internally. 

That stat needs to change.

So, today, I’m talking about that mirror of self-assessment…you know what I mean. It can be that not-so-attractive feature we all display from time to time. But, dang ya’ll, we gotta look in that mirror frequently in order to grow. Look deep for how you treat others or what you can do to be a better spouse/parent/colleague. Just…in general – how can YOU improve?

I think I’m just one of those types of people who is mostly in a state of self-assessment. I’m critical by nature. And when things don’t work out for whatever reason (and this happens often and much!), I’m the first person to look in the mirror and ask myself what I could have done differently. 

Asking hard questions of ourselves is just that: HARD. 

For example, after a meeting, I always ask myself “could that have been handled better?” After a difficult conversation with a colleague, I’ll think “I hope I made that clear and was caring with how I spoke to them.” After I discipline one of my kids…I think, “was I too hard on them?” 

You get the gist. 

But, here’s the deal. If we’re not working to be a better human, then what’s the point? 

As an adult, I find that I question so many things. It’s not that I’m not ever satisfied or anything, but taking a long, hard look in the mirror and asking yourself the hard questions makes you a better human. And truth, asking the hard questions tends to lead to better clarity and understanding of what your next steps are in life, or at work, etc.

I try to find a few minutes everyday and reflect on a few key concepts.

• Did I make good use of my day? If not, why? What could I have done differently?

• Did I prioritize all the things I needed to accomplish? In other words, did I get the stuff done that I really needed to get done? If not, why?

• Did I really focus today…or was I distracted? If I was distracted, what was the source of that distraction? Can that be prevented tomorrow?

• Did I treat people how I’d want to be treated? So much easier said that done sometimes, right?

You gotta get real here. Be true to yourself. You’re the only one who is asking yourself these questions…so, be honest. 

I love the quote from Carol Dweck, “Becoming is better than being.” It’s not at all about achieving perfection when it comes to looking at yourself in the mirror. It’s about learning who you are and growing that’ll lead us to not only better outcomes but some peace too.