How To Get People To Like You

Have you ever stopped to think about why people like you or better yet – why do you like them? I know this may sound a little narcissistic at face value. But, if you’re interested in your own personal development, it’s a good exercise to do on occasion. 

The other day, I was thinking about the various relationships in my life and wanted to share a few highlights with you.

This past weekend, my husband and I took a quick trip and stayed at a resort we’ve stayed at several times. We keep going back to this place. Why? It feels like home. People are so nice to us. They take care of our needs and wants. I feel amazing when I’m there.

I have my shops I frequent too. One shop in particular – Eden’s (located in the Paseo district of OKC…shout out to Eden Turrentine…the BEST relationship-building shop owner I know) – the shop owner knows me, my size, what I generally like to wear, etc. She even brings me clothes to try on at my office or at home just to make it easy for me. She’s the most delightful human as well. Over the years, we’ve become friends because I like this girl sooo much!

It took me a few years to find a doctor I really liked too. I didn’t want to be just a number – I wanted a relationship…someone who understood me and my idiosyncrasies. And she does. I can literally text her when I feel a sinus infection coming on, and boom…it’s like the magical pharmacy fairy delivers my antibiotics. It’s amazing! I love my doctor!

Overall, I choose to work and do business with people I know, like and trust. The interesting thing is – those are the relationships I find the most value and mutual respectfulness too. 

So, how do you build the know, like and trust factor with your colleagues and others in your life? I think it all comes down to relationship building. That’s at the core of it all. I have two thoughts to share, and I’m sure there’s soooo many additional ideas out there to add to it! Let me give this a stab….

1. Get to know your employees, customers and vendors. Yep, that means strike up a conversation…ask questions about kids, family, vacations, etc. We all have a basic need to connect with others. 

   I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but it’s worth repeating. Access to social media and the internet has impacted our ability to develop quality relationships. We are so focused on the number of likes and retweets that we’ve become masters at superficial junk…and, interestingly enough – people are more lonely than ever too..

   So, put away your phone and have some human interaction. More than anything, be real and be YOU! People can sniff out a fake, wanna-be “friend” faster than your kid can open a present on Christmas morning. So, really y’all…be genuine when getting to know people.

2. Be consistent. Have you heard of the concept “be the thermostat and not the thermometer”? Your thermostat stays at a regulated temperature. If you set it at 68, the thermostat’s job is to keep the temperature at 68. A thermometer reflects the temperature of its surrounding – it can go up and down depending on how hot or cold it is. 

   Be the thermostat! Be the leader who sets the tone. Be proactive – not reactive. Don’t let other people’s opinions change your course of action. If you’re setting a positive tone and environment, the thermostat leader doesn’t let negative behaviors influence the trajectory or end outcome. 

   How else can you show consistency? Show up when you say you’re going to show up. Stick to the deadlines you set. Although our personal lives certainly affect our mood, be consistent with how you interact with others…even if things are crazy at home. 

To me, the most important thing you can do to develop the know, like and trust factor is to treat people how you’d want to be treated…the good ‘ol Golden Rule.

As Maya Angelou said, “At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.” I couldn’t agree more. So, embrace all the feels and keep the temperature at an even 68 this week!